More failure

Well, I am probably giving up on the boat thing. I’ve worn myself out beyond “why am I doing this?” to “why am I even alive?” Something is making me so anxious about doing it, however. I think being out on the water just sounds more freeing perhaps. I think now that another medication’s kicked in, it’s so effective that I want to constantly do something and when I can’t I feel horrible, which in itself leads to a depressed state. Oh life. What fun. It just keeps going on and on.

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