The doc prescribed me a new medication, in addition to speaking positively of ECT for depression, though I’ve always thought of that as a last resort. But in truth I get tired of the medication game rather fast which perhaps hinders my treatment, but to an extent after almost half my life in this state it’s hard to give a shit all the time. I should probably attend some depression group just to see people besides family. The only problem with that is I don’t really like to focus on my depression. I like to talk about other stuff sometimes, but it’s really the only way I can see people. When I go these long stretches without seeing or talking to anybody in person I can’t help but start hating my personality. My personality makes me want to be a jobless hermit without any long term goals or foresight and I hate it because I think it keeps people away, but the alternative would probably be worse. I don’t know. My brain is sizzling needlessly.