Sometimes I will be so sad it makes me nauseous, and after gagging a few times I lie on the floor for a while. Maybe I am just swept up in the moment, but at this point I don’t think the ECT could happen soon enough, and it’s starting on Friday. Maybe after a few seizures this feeling will fade. Lately I’ve been doing an outpouring of sorts. Maybe it seems feeble. I’m not the best at doing affectionate things. It’s not like this is some selfless crusade because I do like the affection in return, but I do want to say if I contact you, if we’ve known each other awhile or whatever, there’s no point in going around that I love you. I doubt you need it. A few I wish I could know for the remainder of my days, but history says that’s not likely.
If you want to take away something from it, please do.