Snow feet

I walked barefoot into the snow to the compost in the dark, set a couple of copper rivets poorly. Nothing stops the pain. I think about climbing a tree and jumping too often, or drinking myself into semi-consciousness and cutting my wrists. I stopped medication in part because I thought it made me gain weight, but here I am still over 200 pounds almost 2 months later so not much of an excuse anymore. I can also go on a stimulant. So, does the audience agree? take the plunge, take the chance? (and by that I mean medication. Puns, I tell ya)


15 thoughts on “Snow feet

  1. MyHomeIsWriting

    I really have a morbid sense of humor, because that last bit actually made me laugh. Sorry I’m so awful.

    Anyway, I can’t really advocate medication, seeing as how when I was on Prozac I stopped it on my own after only two weeks. Hadn’t even given it time to see if it would work. So I have no experience with which to draw on, only what opinions I’ve heard from other people about different medications. Do what you think is best, that’s what I say.

    1. thecuriousbum Post author

      Ha, yeah. I didn’t even think about that till I saw it published. Really, I don’t like medication either. I don’t like the idea of being dependent on it, but this is a pretty lame way to live.

      1. MyHomeIsWriting

        Yes, I don’t blame you. I can’t say the thought of going to see a psychiatrist and getting something hasn’t crossed my mind. I think I’m scared of being dependent upon medication to be considered “normal.” I think it stems from the fact that my mother is a drug addict, and I’m afraid of anything that makes me feel like her.

  2. viefinale

    I really dunno. I’ve gone through my share of meds for depression before but one experience doesn’t necessarily equal another. I’d also like to say “it can’t hurt to try!” but in this domain I don’t think that’s necessarily true either. If you’re in a controlled environment where trying a new cocktail and stopping it immediately if it does more harm that good, erm, would do more good than harm- I’d say try it. If upsetting whatever balance you currently have isn’t worth the risk, then no. Unfortunately only you can know what’s best, and unfortunately you can’t always know what’s going to happen.

    I do love stimulants though. I’m so caffeine sensitive even a half cup of coffee elevates my mood. Weird.

    Snuggle up tight against that snow

  3. doesitevenmatter3

    😦 I’m sorry you have such a struggle. 😦
    I’ve seen meds/stimulants help people. I guess I’d say “give it a try”. You can always make changes as you need to.
    Please DON’T take any bad plunges! 😦
    But, keep being pun-ny! πŸ™‚
    You are loved and thought about and wished well! πŸ™‚
    (((HUGS))) πŸ™‚
    PS…I love walking barefooted in the snow…but not for too long a distance! πŸ˜€

  4. ohellino

    Yeah don’t get caught up doctoring yourself like my friend she is in hospital because she is too bossy with her shrink and goes on whatever meds she wants. The doctor said she’s writing her own prescriptions.

  5. ohellino

    I think you need medication and art therapy. I don’t like where you are at and would like you to reach where I’m at……….unless I’m wrong and you are ok. It’s hard to make a diagnosis online. Especially when you’re another patient.

  6. Emily

    Oh dear. I have never personally been on medication for depression, but a few of my family members have had great experience with them. When I was depressed a few years ago, I went to therapy because I wanted to try different options before I jumped right into taking medicine. It worked really well. I don’t know if that is something that you have tried. I know some people feel somewhat awkward about it – telling a stranger your feelings. It does really help though! I wouldn’t expect results right after the first meeting, but it will eventually help! My cousin isn’t able to be on strong medicine due to other medical issues, but his doctors have him on light therapy which is where you are around light which is like the light from the sun, which studies have shown that can help with depression, so those things are also different options if you aren’t really wanting to do the whole medicine thing,

    But based on this post I would suggest at least doing something to make it better! I don’t like to see someone so sad!

    Oh and I hope you remember me! I’m iiflyhigh from Xanga! πŸ™‚

    1. thecuriousbum Post author

      Sure I remember you. I’ve tried a lot of things which kind of contributes to the hopelessness, but I’ve decided to go on some other meds anyway. How you doin? πŸ™‚

      1. Emily

        well I am glad that you decided to do something that may help! I am doing okay, just really busy with school and work and feel very overwhelmed! I really miss Xanga. I am having a difficulty adapting to WordPress. Anything new going on with you besides the medicine?

      2. Emily

        What things have you been making with wood? I feel like that is a really cool art form. I took a ceramics class my sophomore year in college, and I was completely horrible at it.

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