Been a while

It would be sooner if I could write anything pretty for you, but these days I write very little. For another thing, I find instructional material works better in video form, so what I once wrote down now goes into videos even though they take more work than writing descriptions and snapping a few pictures. Creating videos, however garbage-y, and working on the podcast with Walker spawned my interest in working with audio and music software, so I do some of that in addition to improving my singing. I sold a hat this year but obviously would like to sell way more, and I also started milling logs with a hand saw so that I might craft some furniture in the future once the boards dry. However, I still do not feel good. Being doped up helps me to do the aforementioned things, but it does not make them feel any more valuable. Bad thoughts still play in the background, and I rely more now on video and noise to feel less alone and drown out extraneous “brainstorming.” Sorry that I haven’t been reading anything here. There’s just something about it that often makes me sad, and what good am I to you if that is always where it goes?


Yesterday while hiking in the woods I decided to check on the partial bamboo kayak I left out there probably over a month ago now. It’s gone for whatever reason. I started taking adderol but have not managed to focus on anything useful. Add to that lots of caffeine and I still feel like dead weight.

Oh, and in the spirit of blograderie, Earthy Oddball nominated me for a Liebster or however that’s spelled, so check out her blog.

One goal, and I blew it

Last year I set a goal to sell one thing (that I made, more specifically) and I didn’t do it. The good thing, anyway, is that despite failing I am not out on the streets. Most people can’t totally fail and still live comfortably.

I started looking into intentional communities again just for a boost of energy. In general communities ask less than it would cost to rent an apartment or even a room. The cheapest I can find on rent just about anywhere is ~$300 a month, so $3600 a year, and, well, I don’t want to live with my parents forever, so at least there is a middle ground in communities or work exchanges. But of course it all starts with making some frigging money and I’d like to do it my own way.

I’ve also started looking out for antlers for my own crafts or to sell. A bundle of ten or more looks to go for $10 a piece or so, so not bad. Searching also gives me reason to walk around a few unfamiliar areas and get some exercise since I don’t feel much like jogging lately.

I’ve also sunk back into depression, doing all this rather slow. Oh, but what else is new.